Top Five secrets we wish our partners would act on during sex

by Stephen McConnell on May 10, 2022

We polled our satisfied customers what they wished would happen more with their partner. Solo play is fun; however, doing it with a partner can be awesome. In order to build an awesome time in the sheets, a lot of work needs to be done first. Communication, consideration, consent, and at times a safe word, is some of the basic things to consider. Here are the top ten requests we have for their partners.

  1. Take initiative: believe it or not this one is on all sides, everyone wants to feel wanted and desired. Try this: Once a week, when you think about having sex, or masturbating, initiate with your partner instead. During the poll there were two main reasons that came up the most, as to why many do not initiate sex: ) Fear of being rejected       2.) Feeling self conscious
    1. Fear of being rejected is what everyone faces in these situations, even with married couples it can be a real sexual relationship killer. A tip to help: don’t expect to get laid when you offer, instead think “I can have sex with you, or I can masturbate, you choose”.
    2. Feeling Self Conscious is a tough one to get over, even for a bit. What I find helpful is to forget about you. Admire your partners qualities, think of what you want to do with them, channel your desire to be with them.
  2. Speak up: if want or would like something done differently or if you want something in particular discuss it, or even better guide your partner through how you would like it done. In some relationships this can be tough, no one wants to hear what they bring to the table is not good enough. Instead insulting their sex game? Use softer phrases: I like when you do this, can you do this more often. Use positive reinforcing suggestions. "I really love it when . . . “ Then if they do it, the next day say "That was really special last night when you . . ."
  3. Be more enthusiastic. The issue here is once receiving sex a partner just receives. Take a bit more action! Wrap legs around, initiating preferred positions, introduce toys that will help. Take responsibility your own satisfaction/pleasure. Once, my partner just pushed my head down south because I finished just before she orgasmed. I thought this was hot and she got off. Make sex a Win-win!
  4. Be a Boss! Bossing around your partner in a sexy way is HOT! This is why this one is in the top five requested. Phrases like: Nope you won’t get this, unless you do this – I want you to . . . all in playful ways is a combination of one, two, and three on this list with an added hint of BDSM. Play around with it, see what drives you and your partner crazy.
  5. Be louder! Often times the after sex glow is commented on, “Wow! That was great” with little to no evidence during sex of encouragement. When possible, allow yourself to let go of your vocal cords and sing your orgasm to your partner. This is the highest of complements!

The top runners up where, a play with your-self while we play with you, role playing and talking dirty.