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5 Must-Have Essential BDSM Toys for Beginners & How to Use Them

by Stephen McConnell on January 12, 2022

BDSM is not confined to the “Pain is Pleasure” concept anymore, and some would argue it never was – but you might already know that if you are finding BSDM beginner toys. BDSM toys, especially the essential ones, are enjoyed even by the non-kinksters (people who do not have BDSM fantasies), as these toys present a diverse set of possible usages.

Yet, some toys are simply not suitable for beginners, and you have to work your way through the essentials first. The most fundamental role of a BDSM toy is always to help you get more immersed in the role of dominant and submissive. All toys are either going to help the dominant feel more dominant or the submissive more dependent or humiliated – all while maximizing the pleasure.

Thus, here we have compiled a list of BSDM toys that are considered to be the most “essential” ones – along with how to use them properly, and be creative.

Blindfold

It goes without saying that everyone knows about the blindfolds, and how or why they are used. The bottom line being – sensory deprivation, which plays a significant role in heightening other senses for maximizing pleasure.

Moreover, making your partner wear a blindfold is assertive, and thus a variety of blindfolds are usually a part of every dom’s collection. Moreover, blindfolds are as safe as a BDSM toy could get. The only two things to consider are – they should be easily removable and comfortable enough to wear.

For comfort, nothing would be better than a neoprene made blindfold, and we have just the thing in store:

Magic Wand

A magic wand is a vibrator that revolutionized the sex-toy industry with its ease of use, diverse applications, perfect shape, and vibratory setting that range from a light rustle to an intense rumbling, pounding sensation.

There are a ton of magic wand options out there, but the best one would be getting the Wand Essentials 7 – which is surely something beginners can play with but would come in handy even for the more intermediate levelled players.

With Wand Essentials 7, you get seven adjustable modes and an RPM range from 3000 to 7000 – but the best feature is the adjustable TRP head, which is a modification to the original design for maximizing pleasure. While Wand is something you can use solo – but it must be present in a BDSM couple’s toolkit for sure.

The applications are diverse, ranging from the sub using the wand on command – to the dom adjusting the Wand in a fixed place for continuous vibrations – try using it for the first time with a blindfold.

Bondage Tape

If you are wondering why not bondage ropes – which are more popular in pop-culture media, then the answer is comfort and blood circulation. Ropes are hard to handle – especially for beginners, meanwhile, tapes are easy to handle, comfier, don’t disrupt blood flow, and are extremely easy to learn.

Bondage tapes are essentially PVC tapes – and not adhesive takes. Meaning the tape would not stick to the skin – but only to itself, that way you don’t have to worry about your skin. Tapes by Frisky are popular and tested for durability:

This product is 2 inches wide and goes over 65 feet in length – so one pack should be enough, you just have to choose your color. When practicing with bondage tapes, you have to keep in mind your partner’s comfort and this might be a good time to establish a safe word.

Moreover, you can start with tying the hands to the bed to get a feel for the tapes – and then move on to complex bondage patterns.

Handcuffs

Handcuffs are essential with it comes to BDSM play – and you should have more than one. You can have your own handcuffs and blindfold collection that ranges in colors and textures – but to start simply get the courtesan handcuffs by Frisky that are super comfy and get the job done:

Using handcuffs might seem self-explanatory, but you have to be creative with each toy to find out its real potential. Handcuffs are popular as they deprive your body of the one thing it loves to do – moving hands. Hand and arm movement is a sign of independence, and you take that away with handcuffs – moreover, handcuffs also symbolize a criminal being caught – and thus are also used excessively in fantasy foreplays.

You can start with adjusting the handcuff to your partner’s hands and taking their go-ahead. Then move on the to front-cuff pose, which can quickly be lifted for a classic over-the-head pose. Or you can do the back-cuff as you see in movies.

Collars

All BDSM toys play the role of getting you and your partner in the role of being dominant and submissive. Collars do that perfectly for beginners, and they do come in a variety. You have textures to choose from, and whether or not you’d like to grab the collar like a dog leash. For starting out, I would not recommend anything other than the Neoprene Bondage Collar with D-Rings:

The thing with collars is that they can get dangerous, especially for beginners who are trying things out. This neoprene collar is breathable and adjustable, and is more like a choker – plus you can attach a string or chain to the D-ring to keep the story going.

If you think this might not be suitable for you, and you want to go with something fancier – we do have a whole variety of collars in our store, and you are invited to take a scroll. Make sure if you are buying the ones with the lock option – then you must have the key (and the spare key) with you at all times. Moreover, there should be a two-finger gap between the collar and the neck.

Bottom Line

In the end, no toy is supposed to harm or inflict pain, and thus practices like establishing a safe word, asking if your partner is comfortable, and keeping the pace slow – are going to help you maximize pleasure in the longer run.

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